"First Steps"

At Shelby's 12 month check-up with the pediatrician, she was recommended for Early Intervention for her gross motor & communication skills. I never mentioned it on the blog before b/c I was just very emotional about the whole situation, and even the idea of trying to put my thoughts into words was overwhelming. I kept thinking it was somehow my fault that Shelby hadn't reached certain milestones yet...if I just would have done x, y, or z she would have already been walking or talking. I kept thinking that I had somehow failed her.

Mississippi's Early Intervention program is called "First Steps." The referral process took way longer than it should have, but we finally had our first meeting with First Steps back in early December--just a mere 2.5 months after the referral was initially made. They came to our house when Shelby was napping, and I answered a plethora of questions ranging from me & Derek's background to my pregnancy to Shelby's first months of life and signed a bunch of forms.

The next step in our First Steps journey was this past Friday. We had to go to the Health Department for Shelby's formal evaluation. To say I was nervous about the appointment would be the understatement of the year. I was nervous as to how Shelby would "perform," and I was even more nervous to hear what they would have to say about my baby. The evaluation basically consisted of Shelby playing while six different professionals (physical therapist, speech/language pathologist, occupational therapist, etc) closely observed her. I sat with Shelby the whole time as she played, and they asked me a few questions about her development while they were observing her. Thankfully, Shelby was in a great mood throughout the entire appointment and she was totally comfortable with all of the ladies that worked with her. The physical therapist even got a few laughs out of Shelby!

I knew it would be hard to hear someone--much less six different people--make evaluative comments about my little girl, but I really had no idea how hard it would actually be. I was able to keep it together during the appointment, but I just broke down once I got into the car. More tears were shed when I called Derek to tell him how it went. {I hated that he couldn't be there with me for this appointment--he is in Jackson this month.} But I truthfully couldn't have been happier with how the evaluation went. Because Shelby was in such a good, cooperative mood, she really gave them a very accurate representation of what she is capable of. And the ladies we worked with were all so nice, and they genuinely enjoyed Shelby. The only time Shelby got fussy at all was at the very end when they were sharing her results with me--she couldn't understand why all of a sudden everyone stopped playing with her..ha!

We knew going into the evaluation that the criteria for qualifying for First Steps was a 25% or more deficiency in one or more of the six areas of development. I can't remember what Shelby's exact results were--I was trying to wrestle a squirmy 15 month old who wanted attention--but we will get them in the mail sometime soon. However, we did meet the criteria to qualify for the program. Shelby will start receiving occupational therapy once a week, and she will receive services once a week from a teacher to work on her communication skills, I think. Again, it was a lot of information thrown at me all at once! {Something interesting I learned at this appointment is that kiddos who are slow to hit their gross motor milestones will more than likely be slow to hit verbal milestones as well...they told me that little ones like Shelby are spending all their time & energy trying to figure out how to walk that their communication is subsequently put on the back burner.} From what I understand, they will come to our house to provide services for Shelby, but I'm not sure how long it will take before it starts up.

I knew going into the evaluation that no matter what the results were that it was going to be bittersweet for me. Part of me wanted Shelby to qualify for the program b/c the services could only benefit her, but the other part of me just ached. I didn't want them to tell me that our baby girl was "behind" or that something was "wrong" with her. I'm still very emotional about the whole situation, but I know we have one very smart & cute little girl on our hands who will undoubtedly walk & talk at some point..she will just do it in her own time! But no matter what, we love her so much and are incredibly proud to be her parents!