Carry On, Warrior

Glennon Doyle Melton perfectly describes how I'm feeling today:

I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn’t enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn’t in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn’t MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I’d wake up and the kids would be gone, and I’d be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.
But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here’s what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:
“It’s helluva hard, isn’t it? You’re a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She’s my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours ’til bedtime.”
And hopefully, every once in a while, I’ll add, “Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up. I’ll have them bring your groceries out.”

That first sentence describes me to a T. I always second-guess my parenting decisions, little & big. By all accounts, the three of us girls had a good day today..but I just kept wondering if I was doing the right thing. Both girls woke up around 7:30, and we made it out of the house for a morning run. While Hadley took a morning nap, Shelby & I ate breakfast, showered/watched Sesame Street, & got dressed. Then we made a quick trip to Office Depot & Lynn Meadows for playtime before coming home for lunch & naps. But today was just one of those days where I questioned everything I did as a mom. Should I have skipped the run & just had our leisurely morning routine of reading books together? Should I have waited until naptime to shower so I could have some one-on-one playtime with Shelby while Hadley napped? Was I rushing the girls too much just so we could get out the door? Did I love on them enough? When I write these thoughts out, it seems so silly & irrational. But this is an internal struggle I have almost every day...I always wonder if I'm doing enough or if it's the best way we could be spending our time together. Then on top of that, am I enjoying it enough? Sheesh, this parenting thing is hard.

Both girls are currently in the midst of a nice, long simultaneous nap...I needed it today! And thankfully I came across the passage above today {I'd actually read it a while back, but stumbled across it again today} b/c I needed to be reminded that I'm not alone!

On a separate but related note, has anyone read Glennon Doyle Melton's new book Carrior On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed? Thoughts? I was thinking about reading it...that is, if I can ever find the time to read for pleasure! ;)

And just because no blog post would be complete without a picture of Shelby or Hadley...here's  a quick pic of my cute lunch date every day! If only she'd actually eat her food willingly though ;)